Product Reviews Part Two ~ How to Write a Review

Continuing from part one – which was about what happens when you receive the product to road test. Now you have had the fun it is time to get down and write the review. Over to Liz to explain…

How to Write a Sex Toy Review  

Okay, so far in part 1, we have covered how to take pictures and how to test the toys. Now it is time to write the review. 

First of all: you have a decision to make. Reviews can be written in two ways: a work of fiction in which your toy stars or a dryer, more matter of fact description of the sex toy. Writers like Posy Churchgate and May More have written great stories in which they showed how to use a particular sex toy. 

This article will be about the objective style of writing, with a subjective flavour added to it, of course. There is a specific form I adhere to quite strictly, so let’s get to it.

Introduction

As with every article, you start with an introductory paragraph. Try to find a way into the subject which will appeal to your readers. Come up with a unique feature of the toy and find a funny way to introduce it. I sometimes use a negative statement to get people’s attention: ‘I hate masturbation’ or ‘Here’s yet another pink vibrator.’ I will use the rest of the text to negate and/or explain this statement. Make sure to get back to it in the conclusion of your text. 

The introduction isn’t the easiest part of the review. It sometimes takes me days to come up with the right entrance. Try to be original in the first paragraph. After all, that’s what will hook in the reader.

Packaging and Description

In a way, the easiest section of the text is where you discuss the packaging and description of the product. There’s little call for creativity here, you only got to make sure it isn’t too dull. Describe how the toy was delivered, in what packaging it came and if the manufacturer made the box special in any way. Also describe the contents of the box. Was there anything extra in the box, like a satchel or replacement parts? 

What is your first impression of the toy? Was it smaller than you expected? Does it feel flimsy or sturdy? Was it easy to turn it on and figure out what button does what? Can you find how to charge the toy?

Nowadays, the product description on the website is pretty detailed. Your review is there to give information which wasn’t mentioned on the site. 

Sometimes the toy is more flexible than you expected or not flexible at all. Maybe there’s a distinct smell to the toy? 

Always mention whether the toy is whisper quiet or not. Turn it on and ask yourself if you would be comfortable using it with someone in the next room. Or literally, turn it on and walk over to the next room with the doors closed. 

This section of your review is mainly objective information, but you can mix it with small things that strike you. 

My experience

You could call this the most essential part of any review: your experience. This is where you tell how the toy felt in use. 

• Did it fulfil your expectations?
• How much did you enjoy using the toy?
• Did something happen which you didn’t expect?
• Did you encounter any difficulties while using the toy?

Sometimes I can’t reach the buttons while using the vibrator, making it extremely difficult to change the menu during use. That’s something I’ll add to the review. 

If you’ve tested the toy with a partner, were they able to use it easily? Could they hit the right places with it? 

Again, write down anything wouldn’t be able to guess from the brand’s website. And if you loved it all the way, by all means, write that. 

Conclusion

The conclusion is where you round off your text. Look at the big picture. Taking into account how you felt overall about the toy, was it what you expected?

• Would you recommend this vibrator or masturbator to anyone?
• Do you think it would be suitable for beginners with sex toys, or is it a more advanced toy?
• Are you going to use it again? Is it a toy which should be in everyone’s collection?
• Were you surprised at the quality despite its price? Or was it a let down in any way?
• Are you happy you got to test this product?

And don’t forget to answer the question you started with in the introduction. 

Evaluation 

This part of the text is where you put your conclusions in numbers. You can also place this part before the conclusion, whatever fits your blog best. 

I find it necessary to end with an evaluation in stars or another value. I like the score out of 10, or how many stars out of five. 

For my review website, I came up with a distinction between ‘Love,’ ‘Like,’ or ‘Yikes.’ Of course you are free to come up with any name or format you want to use yourself. 

Many people also make a list of Pros and Cons of the toy. This can give you a quick overview of what you think are the best and worst features of the sex toy. 

At the bottom of the review, you need to write a disclosure whether you received the toy for free or bought it yourself. This is important in regards to the laws of advertising.

Happy Testing

So now you have all the tools you need to write the perfect sex toy review. With the approach described above, you can also write the review in parts and do another section on another day if you need more time. 

To me, the most important part is giving information which isn’t clear from the toy’s product page. As long as you keep that in mind, all will be fine. It may seem like a daunting task, but take it easy and follow these steps for an excellent text. And most of all: happy testing!

Image from pexels