How To Review Sex Toys by Liz Black
Sooner or later in your sex blogging career, you will find yourself with the opportunity to review a sex toy. Either you wrote a company asking to review one of their products, or they approached you. Before you know it, a brown non-descript box will be waiting on your kitchen table. And then what? Do you unwrap everything, run to the bedroom and start using it?
Unfortunately no, being a professional reviewer is a lot less glamorous than that. There’s work to be before you get any sex toy action. Let’s take some pictures!
Step 1: Take pictures
Take pictures of everything. I usually skip the image of the brown non-descript box myself, unless there was something wrong or remarkable about it. I do always photograph the packaging of the toy, especially if the company made it unique in some way. Some toys have a proper ‘unboxing experience’ which I like to capture. I don’t do video myself, but else that could be a good option too. The ‘Be-One’ vibrator by Fun Factory was an example of it, as was the ‘Onda’ by Lora DiCarlo.
Take pictures of the sex toy from every angle. I also like to take a photo of where to charge the vibrator, because that’s a commonly asked question.
You also need to show the toy in its relative size. Most websites show measurements nowadays, but seeing the toy compared to something you know, can say a lot more. I always take pictures with the toy in my hand. This also shows I really handled the toy and am not just making things up.
If you’re uncomfortable taking pictures with your hand, you can also use commonly known items such as a lipstick, a matchbook or a business card. Next up: charging!
Step 2: Charge Your Toy
Since most toys nowadays are rechargeable and usually come with a Lithium battery inside, it’s better to charge them fully before first use. They typically come with a little charge in them, because it’s unsafe to ship them without. But the battery will last longer if you give it a full charge before using. Most vibrators and masturbators come with a USB-cable, so plug it in your phone charger and any other adaptor and charge away.
Step 3: Clean Your Toy
No matter if your toy came from China, the USA or Germany, make sure you clean it before testing. Some water and a mild detergent are usually sufficient, but you can also use dedicated ‘toy cleaner’. The toy will touch your most intimate places, so it better be clean.
As a professional reviewer, I have been sent a show model of a product a couple of times. The representative of the company asked me if I was comfortable with that and I said I didn’t mind. I did clean it every thoroughly, of course.
Step 4: Study Your Toy
Testing will still have to wait a little longer. It is now time to study your toy. In case of a vibrator or masturbator, push all the buttons. Cycle through the menu options, get a general idea of what settings you think you might like. Feel in your hands how the toy buzzes. Are the vibrations strong or light? Does it keep its vibrations when you squeeze the toy?
If you have any other vibrators, how does it compare so far?
Make notes in your mind, or write your findings down.
Not all toys come with a manual or only a meagre one. Sometimes you can find more information on the manufacturer’s website. I personally try to avoid reading other people’s reviews before I finished my own, to not become biased in any way.
Step 5: Test Your Toy
So we’ve finally come to the fun bit – some sex toy action – where you get to test the vibrator or masturbator! But, yes, there is still a but – don’t forget your role as a reviewer. It’s easy to jump into bed, let the vibrator do its job and enjoy the afterglow, but you’re still at work. While testing, pay attention to how the toy feels. How does your body respond? Does it feel good? Does it feel uncomfortable in any way? Can you reach all the buttons? Is it easy to switch menus while using? And of course, is it easy to reach orgasm with the toy?
Okay, now that you’ve tested it once, clean the toy and put it away.
Now test it again when you’re not really in the mood. How does it feel this time? Is the toy able to turn you on quickly? Did you miss anything the last time? Are you able to reach orgasm this time?
And then test it a third time. Maybe in a similar situation to one of the first times, perhaps now with a partner. Any way you think your readers will enjoy reading about.
Step 6: The Review
Now you’re ready to write the review. There is so much to say about how to write a review, we’re going to dedicate a separate article to the subject.
As you can see, reviewing sex toys comes with a lot of work. Overall it’s a fun job, but don’t take it lightly. Readers are spoiled nowadays with so many good reviews and video reviews out there. You need to go that extra mile to make content which adds additional value. Take pictures which show something the product pictures didn’t reveal. Relate your experience with how the toy felt. And most of all: enjoy the process!
Liz will be back next week with part two of this three part series. Find all her reviews here…
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